Tag Archives: purpose

The Key to My Earthly Pursuits

“What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes? Herein lies the key to your earthly pursuits.” — C.G. Jung

I remember I used to like following the ice cream truck on my bike until he was so far out of my neighborhood that I would feel “lost,” and then I’d turn around and try to trace my way back home again. In a way, I’m still doing that in my “earthly pursuits.” Seeking adventure, feeling lost, finding my way back home. In the end, it’s all about enjoying the ride.

<Enter ice cream truck music here because that’s what I heard the entire time.>

The Calming Effect

Over the past few years, I’ve been told by several people in various situations, that I have a “calming effect” on them. It always makes me laugh because I know my mind and “calm” is not necessarily the right description. The calm before the storm, maybe.

Usually, I just write it off to the fact that I’m soft-spoken, polite, (you know, just your basic ‘decent human being’ stuff which has become something of a lost art.) But tonight it happened again, a stranger I interacted with who started off by saying they had had a “long day”, later randomly mentioned this calming effect again.

It got me thinking, maybe I should stop ignoring these little messages from the universe and start using my calming superpowers for the greater good. I have a feeling the world could use some calming energy right about now and in the years ahead. Not sure what that means for me exactly, but I think I’m open to finding out.

When I wrote this on social media, someone commented: “It’s the balancing your being brings.. most people just don’t know what to call it.” It helped me to fine-tune this thing because I realized they were right.

In these moments, it’s usually me just “being” and the other person allowing themselves to share this space with me till we find some kind of balance. In tonight’s case we were forced to occupy the same space for a while so they had to adjust. In extreme situations, when people are way off to the other edge of the stress spectrum, my so-called calming energy can sometimes be overwhelming for them and they resist it even more. In those cases there is just no possibility for balance.

Anyway, that’s it. Namaste, bitches. (This calming thing comes and goes.)

It’s OK to Not Want Children

It’s OK to not want children.

The reason I’m telling you this is because it’s something no one ever told me.

So just in case there’s somebody out there that needs to hear it… this one’s for you.

june cleaver

We’ve been told a lot of things.

We’ve been told that motherhood is a natural thing.

We’ve been told that there’s nothing like being a mother, or being a parent.

We’ve been told that it’s selfish not to want kids.

That one day, we’ll change our mind.

We’ve been told that it’s going to be some kind of scary disaster if we don’t want to have children.

“You’re going to regret it.”

“You’re going to end up alone.”

“No one is going to take care of you when you get older.”

“Your motherly instincts will eventually kick in.”

and.. (did I mention?) “One day you’ll change your mind.”

i dont want any kids

Once you hear these things enough times, at least in my experience, you tend to start doubting and questioning your own beliefs and desires.

“Is it true? Are they right? Will I change my mind?”

I waited 36 years for everyone around me ‘to be right’ until I finally had the clarity and the courage to face the fact that (gasp) maybe it was me who was right all along about what I want and don’t want. Shocking, I know.

So if you, like me, are not sure that you want children and people keep telling you that one day you’ll change your mind, then it’s time you also heard the following:

Not everyone is going to want children.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t have to.

So, do whatever feels right.

relief

And you know what?

You don’t need to worry and make decisions like that based on fear, based on who is going to take care of you when you’re older, or whether or not you’ll be alone.

I’m sorry to break this to whoever is reading, but guess what? One has nothing to do with the other.

Having children is not some guarantee that they’ll take care of you when you’re older. I say that from experience, I’ve seen that around me.

And having children is not necessarily going to be the most pleasurable experience in the world, or help you find your purpose in life, or keep you and your partner together forever, or whatever other ridiculous idea we pass on from generation to generation.

what what baby

Each person should do what feels right to them.

If it really is your deep desire to be a mother — and I know that there are women out there who feel this way and I think that’s really awesome. In fact, those are exactly the kind of people that should be parents:  the ones that know, deep down inside, that this is their purpose here on this planet, to create and provide for another living being… and then another living being.. (and then another living being?), and not only are they willing to take on the challenge of everything that would entail, but they are excited and grateful for the opportunity to do so…?

I say: GO FOR IT.

Seriously. Follow your passion.

monica thumbs up

And then, if you’re not one of those people,

if for whatever reason you never had that same passion and desire….

but you’re kind of planning on going along with everybody else just because that’s what everyone else is doing…

even though it doesn’t actually feel that good to you…

then I’m just here to remind you:

It’s OK to not want children.

its ok to not want children

They Just Stand There Shining

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
– Anne Lamott

Helpful Reminders Along My Path

The universe keeps speaking on my little journey, and I keep listening.

Found on the fridge of the house I'm staying at: "The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it, for what you are seeking is also seeking you."
Found on the fridge of the house I’m staying at: “The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it, for what you are seeking is also seeking you.”

The t-shirt of a traveling hippie/nurse I met tonight: "Life is good. Simple as that."
The t-shirt of a traveling hippie/nurse I met tonight: “Life is good. Simple as that.”

Also on traveling hippie/nurse's t-shirt: "Do what you like. Like what you do."
Also on traveling hippie/nurse’s t-shirt: “Do what you like. Like what you do.”

The sticker on a very weird and very cool instrument that the hippie nurse brought with her (which i totally rocked in an impromptu jam session): "Momentum is on our side.
The sticker on a very weird and very cool instrument that the hippie nurse brought with her (which i totally rocked in an impromptu jam session): “Momentum is on our side.

A Thousand Times We Die In One Life

A thousand times we die in one life

Another piece of me died the other day. I realized that many of the “spiritual” things I have chosen to believe existed have never really been proven. Not by science, but more importantly, not even by myself. Psychic abilities, spirit guides, reincarnation, extraterrestrial communication, soul contracts, multi-dimensional realities, etc, etc – I spent my entire life believing in these things and defending them to others without ever really having any of my own proof or personal experience.

Ever since I was a kid this world was never enough for me. Always needing more, always searching for more. And now, TROLOLOL, the joke was on me because apparently my real life mission was to accept that this is all there is and to find the beauty and magic in it. It took me half my life to discover my real mission, and I suppose the rest of my life to implement it. Who knows, maybe once I surrender to what already is and find my peace with it, the other things I’ve been searching for will just open themselves naturally to me. Or maybe it wont even matter anymore whether or not they are true.

Hibernation

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”  ? Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”

– Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

You’d think it would be easier to convince humanity that the purpose of their life is joy, that they should follow their hearts, that they should do what makes them happy. For whatever reason, it’s not easy at all. Most of the population refuses to accept that, and even those who do are still working on believing it and understanding it in their own experience.

You Will Recognize Your Own Path

you will recognize your own path
It’s true! And the fastest way to recognize that it’s true is to see how it has already been true in your life. Those moments in life where you were doing something with all your heart, where you were feeling inspired, when you didn’t even notice how fast time flew by… Those are the moments when you know you are on your path and in alignment with your higher self!
~ Shira