Tag Archives: purpose

It’s OK to Not Want Children

It’s OK to not want children.

The reason I’m telling you this is because it’s something no one ever told me.

So just in case there’s somebody out there that needs to hear it… this one’s for you.

june cleaver

We’ve been told a lot of things.

We’ve been told that motherhood is a natural thing.

We’ve been told that there’s nothing like being a mother, or being a parent.

We’ve been told that it’s selfish not to want kids.

That one day, we’ll change our mind.

We’ve been told that it’s going to be some kind of scary disaster if we don’t want to have children.

“You’re going to regret it.”

“You’re going to end up alone.”

“No one is going to take care of you when you get older.”

“Your motherly instincts will eventually kick in.”

and.. (did I mention?) “One day you’ll change your mind.”

i dont want any kids

Once you hear these things enough times, at least in my experience, you tend to start doubting and questioning your own beliefs and desires.

“Is it true? Are they right? Will I change my mind?”

I waited 36 years for everyone around me ‘to be right’ until I finally had the clarity and the courage to face the fact that (gasp) maybe it was me who was right all along about what I want and don’t want. Shocking, I know.

So if you, like me, are not sure that you want children and people keep telling you that one day you’ll change your mind, then it’s time you also heard the following:

Not everyone is going to want children.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t have to.

So, do whatever feels right.

relief

And you know what?

You don’t need to worry and make decisions like that based on fear, based on who is going to take care of you when you’re older, or whether or not you’ll be alone.

I’m sorry to break this to whoever is reading, but guess what? One has nothing to do with the other.

Having children is not some guarantee that they’ll take care of you when you’re older. I say that from experience, I’ve seen that around me.

And having children is not necessarily going to be the most pleasurable experience in the world, or help you find your purpose in life, or keep you and your partner together forever, or whatever other ridiculous idea we pass on from generation to generation.

what what baby

Each person should do what feels right to them.

If it really is your deep desire to be a mother — and I know that there are women out there who feel this way and I think that’s really awesome. In fact, those are exactly the kind of people that should be parents:  the ones that know, deep down inside, that this is their purpose here on this planet, to create and provide for another living being… and then another living being.. (and then another living being?), and not only are they willing to take on the challenge of everything that would entail, but they are excited and grateful for the opportunity to do so…?

I say: GO FOR IT.

Seriously. Follow your passion.

monica thumbs up

And then, if you’re not one of those people,

if for whatever reason you never had that same passion and desire….

but you’re kind of planning on going along with everybody else just because that’s what everyone else is doing…

even though it doesn’t actually feel that good to you…

then I’m just here to remind you:

It’s OK to not want children.

its ok to not want children

They Just Stand There Shining

“Lighthouses don’t go running all over an island looking for boats to save; they just stand there shining.”
– Anne Lamott

Helpful Reminders Along My Path

The universe keeps speaking on my little journey, and I keep listening.

Found on the fridge of the house I'm staying at: "The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it, for what you are seeking is also seeking you."
Found on the fridge of the house I’m staying at: “The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it, for what you are seeking is also seeking you.”
The t-shirt of a traveling hippie/nurse I met tonight: "Life is good. Simple as that."
The t-shirt of a traveling hippie/nurse I met tonight: “Life is good. Simple as that.”
Also on traveling hippie/nurse's t-shirt: "Do what you like. Like what you do."
Also on traveling hippie/nurse’s t-shirt: “Do what you like. Like what you do.”
The sticker on a very weird and very cool instrument that the hippie nurse brought with her (which i totally rocked in an impromptu jam session): "Momentum is on our side.
The sticker on a very weird and very cool instrument that the hippie nurse brought with her (which i totally rocked in an impromptu jam session): “Momentum is on our side.

A Thousand Times We Die In One Life

A thousand times we die in one life

Another piece of me died the other day. I realized that many of the “spiritual” things I have chosen to believe existed have never really been proven. Not by science, but more importantly, not even by myself. Psychic abilities, spirit guides, reincarnation, extraterrestrial communication, soul contracts, multi-dimensional realities, etc, etc – I spent my entire life believing in these things and defending them to others without ever really having any of my own proof or personal experience.

Ever since I was a kid this world was never enough for me. Always needing more, always searching for more. And now, TROLOLOL, the joke was on me because apparently my real life mission was to accept that this is all there is and to find the beauty and magic in it. It took me half my life to discover my real mission, and I suppose the rest of my life to implement it. Who knows, maybe once I surrender to what already is and find my peace with it, the other things I’ve been searching for will just open themselves naturally to me. Or maybe it wont even matter anymore whether or not they are true.

Hibernation

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”  ? Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”

– Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

You’d think it would be easier to convince humanity that the purpose of their life is joy, that they should follow their hearts, that they should do what makes them happy. For whatever reason, it’s not easy at all. Most of the population refuses to accept that, and even those who do are still working on believing it and understanding it in their own experience.

You Will Recognize Your Own Path

you will recognize your own path
It’s true! And the fastest way to recognize that it’s true is to see how it has already been true in your life. Those moments in life where you were doing something with all your heart, where you were feeling inspired, when you didn’t even notice how fast time flew by… Those are the moments when you know you are on your path and in alignment with your higher self!
~ Shira

Is Someone Trying To Tell Me Something?

I woke up this morning thanking the Universe “for the upcoming day, for the new opportunities that will open up for me, for the people that will cross my path and the coincidences or synchronicity of events that will help me to find my true purpose and higher Self.”  (It’s something new I decided to try…)

A couple of hours later, an old friend I used to work with suddenly messaged me asking how I was doing and what I have been up to lately.

I told him a quick overview of my situation, which right now consists basically of the fact that I recently returned from a very inspirational journey to India and that I am focusing on my writing, browsing new income options and slowly trying to find my place back on track in the “real” world.

“Yeah, but what about singing?”, he asked. “Are you singing??”

I was surprised by his question:

A) because I was surprised that he remembered how much I love singing and that he actually cared whether I was doing it or not
and B) because it was one of the things that had often crossed my mind (and my path) when I was in India.

First of all, I had been faced with certain social situations on the trip where I was challenged to overcome my shyness and so-called “stage fright” in order to enjoy the situations to their fullest. For example:

    • performing a Hebrew song for the beautiful Muslim family that hosted us on their houseboat in Kashmir (they insisted I sing!)
    • or learning to let go and sing freely in my room even after realizing that the acoustics in the guesthouse we were staying at were horrible and that everybody could hear everybody whether we liked it or not. This, by the way, I learned on my first day there after innocently singing to myself in my room only to have one of the guests who was staying one floor below me tell me I have a really nice voice..

So not only was I challenged to face my fears, but what was even more intense was the sudden deep calling I started feeling to somehow combine my love of singing with my spiritual path. I just wasn’t sure what that meant. And it was very “convenient” for me to simply forget all about it, especially when I returned home.

That is, until my old friend asked me the million dollar question above and I was instantly sucked back into pondering the whole thing again. The only answer that seemed to come out was, “Not yet, but I will.”

So that was that.

Later this evening, I went to try a Kundalini Yoga class for the first time in my life. The class was pretty interesting (though I don’t have much to compare it to) but what caught my attention most was a certain song that the teacher played at the end of the lesson. It was a mantra, a sort of prayer that repeated itself over and over, sung by a woman with a beautiful and angelic voice. Something about her instantly caught my attention and I was intrigued to find out who she was or what her name was. It also got me thinking once again about using singing as a form of getting spiritual messages across. I contemplated asking the teacher the name of the singer but for some reason, I just picked up my stuff and left, humming the song in my head.

Again, more “convenient.”

And back to my computer I went, only to find a random forwarded mail, waiting in my inbox. It read the following:

Recommended website: A singer who is all light and love.. Music for the soul:
http://www.snatamkaur.com/web10.html

I had the honor of discovering the singer Snatam Kaur earlier this week. She really is a channel of purity that connects to higher dimensions.

I clicked the link, and to my shock and delight, the song that started playing on her homepage was.. you guessed it.. the same exact song I had just heard at the class… the same angelic voice.

I was floored.

I was inspired.

And after reading about her life, I was even more inspired.

So anyway, I don’t know what to do with all this yet.

But I guess I can start by thanking the Universe for the upcoming day, for the new opportunities that will open up for me, for the people that will cross my path and the coincidences or synchronicity of events that will help me to find my true purpose and higher Self.