Tag Archives: music

It’s OK to Not Want Children

It’s OK to not want children.

The reason I’m telling you this is because it’s something no one ever told me.

So just in case there’s somebody out there that needs to hear it… this one’s for you.

june cleaver

We’ve been told a lot of things.

We’ve been told that motherhood is a natural thing.

We’ve been told that there’s nothing like being a mother, or being a parent.

We’ve been told that it’s selfish not to want kids.

That one day, we’ll change our mind.

We’ve been told that it’s going to be some kind of scary disaster if we don’t want to have children.

“You’re going to regret it.”

“You’re going to end up alone.”

“No one is going to take care of you when you get older.”

“Your motherly instincts will eventually kick in.”

and.. (did I mention?) “One day you’ll change your mind.”

i dont want any kids

Once you hear these things enough times, at least in my experience, you tend to start doubting and questioning your own beliefs and desires.

“Is it true? Are they right? Will I change my mind?”

I waited 36 years for everyone around me ‘to be right’ until I finally had the clarity and the courage to face the fact that (gasp) maybe it was me who was right all along about what I want and don’t want. Shocking, I know.

So if you, like me, are not sure that you want children and people keep telling you that one day you’ll change your mind, then it’s time you also heard the following:

Not everyone is going to want children.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t have to.

So, do whatever feels right.

relief

And you know what?

You don’t need to worry and make decisions like that based on fear, based on who is going to take care of you when you’re older, or whether or not you’ll be alone.

I’m sorry to break this to whoever is reading, but guess what? One has nothing to do with the other.

Having children is not some guarantee that they’ll take care of you when you’re older. I say that from experience, I’ve seen that around me.

And having children is not necessarily going to be the most pleasurable experience in the world, or help you find your purpose in life, or keep you and your partner together forever, or whatever other ridiculous idea we pass on from generation to generation.

what what baby

Each person should do what feels right to them.

If it really is your deep desire to be a mother — and I know that there are women out there who feel this way and I think that’s really awesome. In fact, those are exactly the kind of people that should be parents:  the ones that know, deep down inside, that this is their purpose here on this planet, to create and provide for another living being… and then another living being.. (and then another living being?), and not only are they willing to take on the challenge of everything that would entail, but they are excited and grateful for the opportunity to do so…?

I say: GO FOR IT.

Seriously. Follow your passion.

monica thumbs up

And then, if you’re not one of those people,

if for whatever reason you never had that same passion and desire….

but you’re kind of planning on going along with everybody else just because that’s what everyone else is doing…

even though it doesn’t actually feel that good to you…

then I’m just here to remind you:

It’s OK to not want children.

its ok to not want children

West Bank Story – The Musical (Full Version)

West Bank Story is a musical comedy about David, an Israeli soldier, and Fatima, a Palestinian fast food cashier – an unlikely couple who fall in love amidst the animosity of their families’ dueling falafel stands in the West Bank.

Tensions mount when the Kosher King’s new pastry machine juts onto Hummus Hut property. The Palestinians ruin the machine and the Israelis respond by building a wall between the two eating establishments.

The couple professes their love for each other, triggering a chain of events that destroys both restaurants and forces all to find common ground in an effort to rebuild, planting a seed of hope.

******************************

Why did you make the film?

I wanted to accomplish three things with the movie:
1. I wanted to make a film that would get attention and also make people laugh.
2. I wanted to make a movie that was pro-peace and offered a message of hope.
3. I wanted to address the situation in an even-handed and balanced way so that Jewish and Arab audiences would feel fairly represented enough to let their guard down and laugh WITH the characters from the “other side”. I thought, if we can make a movie that Israelis will watch and like the Arab characters and that Arabs will watch and like the Israeli characters then that will be something valuable.

What problems did you encounter in making the film?

Many people said you can’t make a film that’s a comedy about a tragedy like the Middle East conflict. They said that no one wants to see that and you will end up offending every Jew and Arab in America. I was also advised against making a short movie that takes place in another country because it would be too expensive. They insisted I would never be able to pull it off and it would look student and cheap.

1. At first, I heeded their advice and I shelved the project for 5 months. It wasn’t until I started working with my co-writer, Kim Ray, that we returned to the project with a new perspective. We decided that it was necessary to simplify the situation in order to make it comedic. We wanted to show that both sides were more alike than they care to admit so we brainstormed a list of things that Arabs and Israelis have in common. When we came up with food and the premise of competing falafel stands, the script began to come to life.
2. A major challenge was balance in portraying both sides evenly. Our fear was that we might offend one side and then turn them off to the story. Therefore, we made sure that for every joke against one side we had one for the other. Likewise, for every endearing or heartfelt moment for the Palestinians we had to have one for the Israelis. Balance was crucial to staying credible. This balance carried over into every aspect of the film. The costumes had to be equally funny on both sides as did their restaurants and the personalities of the characters. I think we did a pretty good job of keeping it balanced.

What do you want the viewer to take away from the film?

I sometimes get remarks about the film being too simplistic and that it does not accurately show the suffering of any one side. I agree, it IS simplistic because it has to be in order to be a comedy. This film is not meant to be a learning tool for the situation in the Middle East. It is not an historical explanation, or a political solution on screen. It is a movie about HOPE and PEACE and that is it. It is meant to counteract the multitudes of negative documentaries and news reports that, while very informative, usually seem to be skewed to one side and ALWAYS leave the viewer feeling like this conflict will go on forever. I truly believe that peace between Israelis and Arabs will be achieved and don’t believe it is a hopeless endeavor. We wanted to make a film that would convey that feeling.

What has been the response from Jews and Arabs?

The response has been overwhelmingly positive from both sides. I have had requests for Dvd’s from professors from Qatar, libraries in Egypt, soldiers in Israel, Palestinian families in Gaza, Elementary school teachers in Haifa, Jewish and Arab film festivals all over the United States, and the list goes on. The film played at the Jerusalem Jewish Film Festival and the Tel Aviv University Student Film Festival in Israel. It also played at the Dubai International Film Festival to a very warm reception and was screened there more than any other film at the festival. It was one of the best screening experiences I have ever had.

What is your background? Are you from the Middle East?

I was born in the United States and am the son of an Israeli father and an American mother. I studied Islam, Judaism, and the History of the Middle East in college and have traveled the Middle East extensively having been to Israel (almost every year), Palestine, Jordan, Turkey, Egypt, Morocco, and Dubai. I currently have family that live throughout Israel.

All credits go to: http://www.westbankstory.com