“What did you do as a child that made the hours pass like minutes? Herein lies the key to your earthly pursuits.” — C.G. Jung
I remember I used to like following the ice cream truck on my bike until he was so far out of my neighborhood that I would feel “lost,” and then I’d turn around and try to trace my way back home again. In a way, I’m still doing that in my “earthly pursuits.” Seeking adventure, feeling lost, finding my way back home. In the end, it’s all about enjoying the ride.
<Enter ice cream truck music here because that’s what I heard the entire time.>
Another piece of me died the other day. I realized that many of the “spiritual” things I have chosen to believe existed have never really been proven. Not by science, but more importantly, not even by myself. Psychic abilities, spirit guides, reincarnation, extraterrestrial communication, soul contracts, multi-dimensional realities, etc, etc – I spent my entire life believing in these things and defending them to others without ever really having any of my own proof or personal experience.
Ever since I was a kid this world was never enough for me. Always needing more, always searching for more. And now, TROLOLOL, the joke was on me because apparently my real life mission was to accept that this is all there is and to find the beauty and magic in it. It took me half my life to discover my real mission, and I suppose the rest of my life to implement it. Who knows, maybe once I surrender to what already is and find my peace with it, the other things I’ve been searching for will just open themselves naturally to me. Or maybe it wont even matter anymore whether or not they are true.
“You live like this, sheltered, in a delicate world, and you believe you are living. Then you read a book… or you take a trip… and you discover that you are not living, that you are hibernating. The symptoms of hibernating are easily detectable: first, restlessness. The second symptom (when hibernating becomes dangerous and might degenerate into death): absence of pleasure. That is all. It appears like an innocuous illness. Monotony, boredom, death. Millions live like this (or die like this) without knowing it. They work in offices. They drive a car. They picnic with their families. They raise children. And then some shock treatment takes place, a person, a book, a song, and it awakens them and saves them from death. Some never awaken.”
– Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934
My doc: You don’t look 35.
Me: I don’t feel 35.
Her: You look 10 years younger at least.
Me: That’s pretty much how i feel.
Her: That’s good. Keep living like that. Feel young and enjoy life.
Me: That’s the plan. :)
I’ve been going through old “public domain” photographs for some stuff I’m working on and i have to say it’s been a trip. There’s something very surreal about looking at all these people throughout our history, what they were doing, what they were wearing, in what surroundings they were in, what they were thinking and feeling. And then to realize that all these people have since vanished into thin air and all that’s left of them are some black & white Kodak moments for me to practice my newly-discovered photo colorization skills. You seriously start questioning what the hell this life is all about, why we are here, why THEY were here, and you look into their eyes and wonder if they asked themselves the same existential questions… Anyway yeah, it’s been a trip. :)
(P.S. this photo is from 1905, Atlantic City Beach)
If you think your life is about doingness, you do not understand what you are about. Your soul doesn’t care what you do for a living-and when your life is over, neither will you. Your soul cares only about what you’re being while you’re doing whatever you’re doing. It is a state of beingness the soul is after, not a state of doingness. – Neale Donald Walsch