Government: “We need to shut down the economy in order to protect ourselves from a deadly virus.”
People: “F*ck you, I won’t do what you tell me.”
Government: “We need to shut down the economy in order to atone for our sins and ask for God’s forgiveness.”
People: “Where do I sign?”
Tag Archives: god
Proud God
Thanks for the Flowers
“I hope some day to meet God, because I want to thank Him for the flowers.”
– Robert Brault
“That’s not what I meant.”
– God
God Has Spoken
God speaks to us in mysterious ways, and this time He/She chose to get the message across through polite street graffiti in Jerusalem.
And It Was Good
And the day came when she realized that no spiritual teacher, guru, channeler, angel, ET, or priest had a closer connection to Source (God) than she did. She saw that they were nothing but signposts along the way, and that the signposts had always been pointing back at her. She was finally beginning to trust herself, and it was good.
– Shira Tamir
You are GOD (Bashar & Abraham Remix)
The original post of this video disappeared so I just had to upload it again. It is such a powerful message and animation! Featuring the teachings of Bashar and Abraham Hicks. Enjoy!
Imagine You Lived in a Constant State of Orgasm
Imagine you lived in a constant state of orgasm. 24/7. Pretty cool, huh?
Now imagine you lived this way for eternity. Infinitely. Forever and ever.
Eventually, you will reach a point where you don’t even realize the experience (since it would simply become a part of you), but moreover, you would not be able to enjoy the experience because you no longer have anything to compare it to (i.e. NOT being in a state of orgasm).
So think of it this way: God/The Universe is in a constant state of infinite (metaphorical) orgasm. Only problem is, it has nothing to compare it to.
That’s where we come in.
Eternal Salvation
Yesterday, two girls stopped me on the street, pulled out a bible that was all highlighted and underlined, and began to convince me to celebrate Passover because according to the bible, the only way to achieve ‘eternal salvation’ is to drink wine and eat bread on Passover.
Me: Hmmm.. Could you define “eternal salvation” please?
Them: Like.. when you die, you’ll be like.. saved. Eternally!
Me: Wow, that’s interesting.. And all i have to do is eat bread and wine on Passover?
Them: Yeah! Well, not ALL you have to do, but God commands that you do that if you want salvation.
Me: Well, I’m Jewish and we already celebrate Passover so does that mean that i already receive eternal salvation?
Them: Um.. uh.. (i guess they weren’t sure if the “Get Out of Hell Free” card includes Jews)
<fast forward another 10 minutes of BS persuading techniques and witty comebacks>
Them: (exhausted) “Would you be interested in studying the bible with us?”
Me: “Sure! Would you be interested in studying things that aren’t the bible with me?”
Them: (shaking their heads) “We only go by the bible!”
Again they turned to a wonderful quote in their book, something about “anyone adding
to the word of God will be punished with plaques.”
Me: So the reason you don’t want to learn anything else is because you’re afraid God will punish you with a plague?
Them: No… We’re not afraid…god loves us unconditionally… he wants whats best for us!
Me: As long as you do what he tells you?
Them: Um… yea… no.. But.. Ok, well we really gotta go!
Me: OK. But before you go… and I’m not sure what the bible says about this but…Can i give you guys a hug?
I practically watched their brain FRY before my very eyes. One started panicking and said “I cant, sorry”, the other one stumbled a little longer till she found her excuse: “I would but its just really HOT out and sticky and.. you know… OK bye!” and disappeared into oblivion.
Me: (to God) Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they do 😉
God: LOL
I Am the Creator
Yesterday a man got on the subway and started preaching that he was a messenger for ‘the Creator’ and that we are all doomed. I mumbled under my breath, “But I am the creator”. He turned to me, shocked, and told me I was being blasphemous. In related news, I blasphemously created these t-shirts with a bleach pen.
We’re All Talking About the Same Thing
The point is that if people realized we were all talking about the same thing (just describing it differently) maybe people would also be open to exploring other interpretations than the ones they were taught to believe…