Category Archives: Random Thoughts

It’s OK to Not Want Children

It’s OK to not want children.

The reason I’m telling you this is because it’s something no one ever told me.

So just in case there’s somebody out there that needs to hear it… this one’s for you.

june cleaver

We’ve been told a lot of things.

We’ve been told that motherhood is a natural thing.

We’ve been told that there’s nothing like being a mother, or being a parent.

We’ve been told that it’s selfish not to want kids.

That one day, we’ll change our mind.

We’ve been told that it’s going to be some kind of scary disaster if we don’t want to have children.

“You’re going to regret it.”

“You’re going to end up alone.”

“No one is going to take care of you when you get older.”

“Your motherly instincts will eventually kick in.”

and.. (did I mention?) “One day you’ll change your mind.”

i dont want any kids

Once you hear these things enough times, at least in my experience, you tend to start doubting and questioning your own beliefs and desires.

“Is it true? Are they right? Will I change my mind?”

I waited 36 years for everyone around me ‘to be right’ until I finally had the clarity and the courage to face the fact that (gasp) maybe it was me who was right all along about what I want and don’t want. Shocking, I know.

So if you, like me, are not sure that you want children and people keep telling you that one day you’ll change your mind, then it’s time you also heard the following:

Not everyone is going to want children.

And that’s okay.

Because you don’t have to.

So, do whatever feels right.

relief

And you know what?

You don’t need to worry and make decisions like that based on fear, based on who is going to take care of you when you’re older, or whether or not you’ll be alone.

I’m sorry to break this to whoever is reading, but guess what? One has nothing to do with the other.

Having children is not some guarantee that they’ll take care of you when you’re older. I say that from experience, I’ve seen that around me.

And having children is not necessarily going to be the most pleasurable experience in the world, or help you find your purpose in life, or keep you and your partner together forever, or whatever other ridiculous idea we pass on from generation to generation.

what what baby

Each person should do what feels right to them.

If it really is your deep desire to be a mother — and I know that there are women out there who feel this way and I think that’s really awesome. In fact, those are exactly the kind of people that should be parents:  the ones that know, deep down inside, that this is their purpose here on this planet, to create and provide for another living being… and then another living being.. (and then another living being?), and not only are they willing to take on the challenge of everything that would entail, but they are excited and grateful for the opportunity to do so…?

I say: GO FOR IT.

Seriously. Follow your passion.

monica thumbs up

And then, if you’re not one of those people,

if for whatever reason you never had that same passion and desire….

but you’re kind of planning on going along with everybody else just because that’s what everyone else is doing…

even though it doesn’t actually feel that good to you…

then I’m just here to remind you:

It’s OK to not want children.

its ok to not want children

How Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

animal bridges
Norwegian wildlife crossing. Photo by Shira Tamir.

Some countries don’t question a chicken’s motives for crossing the road, but instead invest in ways to help the chicken cross it safely and more effectively.

#howdidthechickencrosstheroad #wildlifecrossing #animalbridge #animalwelfare #respectnature #theywereherefirst #whereareYOURtaxesgoing

Recommended Link: 12 Amazing Animal Bridges Around the World

Helpful Reminders Along My Path

The universe keeps speaking on my little journey, and I keep listening.

Found on the fridge of the house I'm staying at: "The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it, for what you are seeking is also seeking you."
Found on the fridge of the house I’m staying at: “The clearer your vision of what you seek, the closer you are to finding it, for what you are seeking is also seeking you.”
The t-shirt of a traveling hippie/nurse I met tonight: "Life is good. Simple as that."
The t-shirt of a traveling hippie/nurse I met tonight: “Life is good. Simple as that.”
Also on traveling hippie/nurse's t-shirt: "Do what you like. Like what you do."
Also on traveling hippie/nurse’s t-shirt: “Do what you like. Like what you do.”
The sticker on a very weird and very cool instrument that the hippie nurse brought with her (which i totally rocked in an impromptu jam session): "Momentum is on our side.
The sticker on a very weird and very cool instrument that the hippie nurse brought with her (which i totally rocked in an impromptu jam session): “Momentum is on our side.

A Thousand Times We Die In One Life

A thousand times we die in one life

Another piece of me died the other day. I realized that many of the “spiritual” things I have chosen to believe existed have never really been proven. Not by science, but more importantly, not even by myself. Psychic abilities, spirit guides, reincarnation, extraterrestrial communication, soul contracts, multi-dimensional realities, etc, etc – I spent my entire life believing in these things and defending them to others without ever really having any of my own proof or personal experience.

Ever since I was a kid this world was never enough for me. Always needing more, always searching for more. And now, TROLOLOL, the joke was on me because apparently my real life mission was to accept that this is all there is and to find the beauty and magic in it. It took me half my life to discover my real mission, and I suppose the rest of my life to implement it. Who knows, maybe once I surrender to what already is and find my peace with it, the other things I’ve been searching for will just open themselves naturally to me. Or maybe it wont even matter anymore whether or not they are true.

There Is a Space

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

When we react to something, what actually happens is that our brain thinks to itself, “Hmmm, where have I encountered a similar experience before?” and then it re-acts, meaning: acts again. It’s a simple survival mechanism, but it doesn’t have to run on automatic. At any given moment we have the option to pause and say: “Thanks, but no thanks.. This time I’m responding differently.”